Being Adamantly Naive.

The life I currently lead is largely sedentary. Most of the time, I’m in front of the computer doing whatever it is university students with a near-comatose social life do. Although there have been improvements in my outdoor activities compared to a few years back, the majority of my time is still spent with my ass in front of the PC.

Tutorials, design work, copywriting… whatever. It’s still there, on that white plastic chair facing the 24-inch monitor.

Which means, I don’t get to experience much.
Which means, I still know little about the real world.
Which means, in a sense, that I’m still naive.

It took me a long time to fully embrace the realization that optimism can only get you so far, and in some ways I still don’t quite get why things happen the way they happen. Even though there are moments where the world is right and everything is at it should be, those moments are few and far between. I optimistically believe that things will eventually turn out okay, despite being proven wrong time and time again. When friends tell me to trust only myself and no-one else, I’m convinced they’re wrong, that it’s just the cynicism talking.

Even though the world operates on shades of grey, I’m adamant in seeing things in black-and-white. I can get angry and frustrated and blame anyone and everyone for all the cynicism and defeated truths, but the world keeps revolving, never giving a fuck about what you think. Ain’t that the truth.

“Naive is good. I wish I was more of that.”

Is it really? I… honestly don’t know.
Times like these, I feel lost. And guilty, for not knowing things.

But mostly lost.

A Slow, But Welcome Evolution: Regarding Tamil Cinema

This is my first time writing in 7 months. Man, am I rusty! Critiques are welcome; more coming soon.

I never had any high regard for Tamil cinema. The loud, colourful mess of music, drama, genres, heightened dramatics and slapstick comedy is an assault on the senses. Constant cock-talking is mistaken for witty one-liners, and the emphasis on bravado and chest-beating  instead of good storytelling would be a never-ending source of facepalms for me. The ones that do well are bullshit that consist almost entirely of fan-service. The award-winning works that can be used as case studies of the uniqueness of Tamil cinema, upon which you can gather snippets of the Indian way of life, are left languishing in the box office.

But that may be changing.

Malaysian “Hospitality”.

Well, then. It’s been an interesting day.

I experienced a microcosm of Malaysian democracy in a 40-minute meeting earlier today.

To read about it is one thing. To watch it is another. To be a part of it, is… “illuminating”, to say the least. (Notice the punctuation.)

Just when I thought I had seen all that the rakyat had to offer, I encounter a new facet of their “hospitality”. It left me stunned and speechless. My fists were itching, and the intense, self-destructive, self-consuming urge to make someone bleed was quite overpowering.

But in the end, I let the feeling pass, like a phase. I had to.

But I do not forget, and I will not forget.

P.S: Sorry for the ambiguity and the copious use of double entendres (amateurishly, I might add). Almost 2 years since my last post, and it’s cryptic? What the hell? Really sorry about that. But it compelled me to finally start writing again. And that’s a good thing… I think?

The Best Birthday So Far.

Usually, the normal thing that would happen on my birthday is this: the clock would strike 12, I’d receive messages from my parents, and that would be it. The day would continue on like normal, just like any other day. And that’s how I thought it would be this year as well. I’d pass some things on to my friend, we’d talk for a bit, and then I would go back to my room and that would be that.

But they had other ideas.

Just a little after 12, her phone rang, and she picked up the call… and answered in Mandarin. She doesn’t do this often, and this was most curious. As soon as the call ended, she started getting all fidgety, and I asked what’s wrong. “Oh! What? Nothing!” Then she looked over my shoulder. I was starting to wonder what the hell was going on, so I turned around… and was greeted by a group singing “Happy Birthday”, carrying a cake.

*sniff sniff* It can make a grown man cry.